The Other Half of the Battle: A Review by Ophelia Dupre
August 12, 2009GI Joe. Transformers. First comic books now toys. And not Toy Story type toys either but honest to God straight from some people’s childhood toys complete with the same names, cheesy dialogue from the cartoons and shameless capitalizing on people’s nostalgia. Never mind that these movies are successfully raking in the dough, it’s just creepy how people flock to catch them.
Now, I know that I said I liked Transformers and I stand by my statement. If you hate fun or cool, then wouldn’t like the giant robot smash fest. I have to take a similar stance with GI Joe. It’s a thrill ride of fun and brutal with larger than life characters and vehicles that had a cameo in your latest Wired magazine. Overall, I liked this movie.
Let’s move on to talk about this film more seriously, eh?
There are people out there who loved GI Joe enough to complain about some very strange things. Example 1: The Baroness was American in the movie and clearly German in the cartoon, as was indicated by her OUTRAGEOUS accent. Fair point, I’ll concur that they changed that.
Reminder: It’s based on a toy line and cartoon series that happened long enough ago that most people can remember when Honey Comb was considered a ‘balanced’ breakfast and when the Slinky that WAS hot shit six months earlier was now collecting dust on the shelf staring longingly at the attention and fuss of Joe action figures.
Example 2: Ripcord was cheesily portrayed by Marlon Wayans who also portrayed a cheesy character in Dungeons and Dragons and was also responsible (at least in part) to all the parody movies that have come out in the last decade or whatever.
Reminder 2: It’s based on a toy line and cartoon series. I really shouldn’t have to say more but to call this cheesy is like saying that buses have wheels. There’s going to be some corny aspects to any movie and really, Marlon toned it down for this in my opinion. He’s not Snails from D&D this time around.
Example 3: Channing Tatum looked entirely too young to have all the accolades pinned on his uniform.
Rebuttal: This was my personal complaint but I was just being picky. He’s a bad ass, in great shape and totally pulls off the kick ass military guy that he’s supposed to be. Considering that Cobra has freakin’ rail guns and wingless aircraft that seem to be using suspensor technology, I think that suspension of disbelief was busy in the back room being propositioned by crazy.
How about some good stuff?
MUMMY CAMEOS!!!!
I won’t ruin them but they are there. Go to the movie and catch them for yourself. Steve was definitely in the mood to remind you that he was the director and writer of the Mummy and honestly, I didn’t mind that at all. It was awesome.
Big guns!!!
I’m a fan. I admit it. They use lots of crazy guns. They blow stuff up. They have power armor. And more stuff gets trashed and destroyed. If you want to see carnage, you’ve come to the right theater. GI Joe and Cobra lock horns in such a way that there will be glass, broken cement, trashed cars and bodies wherever they go.
Nope, they don’t hold back. People die in this movie. It’s not the old GI Joe where people punch out and more bullets fly around as harmlessly as if the A Team were in town. There are head shots, eye shots, immolations and outright explosions. If you’re squeamish about that stuff, it’s okay. The blood isn’t there. This is still PG 13.
Ninjas!!!!
Who doesn’t like Ninjas? Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes master the art of ass kickery and one of them is played by Ray Park. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!? GO SEE THIS NOW!!!
*ahem*
GI Joe was a minute by minute example of how to take things over the top and still keep them fun. Believability was tossed out the window but if you wanted a war movie that is all on realistic, then you’d be at the Hurt Locker and then shortly thereafter seeking some therapy. And possibly wondering why you’re not a very fun person.
Out!
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.